Multiple Scriptures exhort us to pray for each other, and having specific things to pray about regarding another person is helpful. But at what point does sharing prayer requests become gossip?

Prayer is a powerful part of a believer’s faith walk for many reasons. One reason is that it positions us as dependent on God and encourages humility and openness about personal struggles. Prayer is not only about the hard things but also about celebrating the big and small victories we experience as we walk in sync with the Lord.

Prayer can be an individual pursuit but it is also a team game.Galatians 6:2urges us to bear each other’s burdens, andJames 5:16instructs us to pray for each other. That verse also talks about confessing sins to each other, which introduces a big concern for most people. Besides the fact that revealing the darker things about myself puts me in a vulnerable position with the person or people I am talking with, how can I be sure that this information will be held in confidence?

Unfortunately, the blunt answer is you can’t. There is always the risk that a person may share information about you inappropriately. Sometimes, it is malicious, but often, they think they are being well-meaning.

We believe that being genuine and honest is essential for personal and spiritual growth, so it is vital that people have safe places and people to be honest and authentic. How can we be the kind of person that contributes to creating healthy spaces? Three essential principles should be applied when someone speaks a little about themselves and asks for prayer.

The first is understanding that they are doing this for their benefit, not yours. So, turning around and using it to elevate yourself or as a weapon against another person is arrogant and unloving.

²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

The second is to understand that you are now in a position of trust. If you turn around and abuse that trust (even if you feel it is with good intentions), don’t be surprised if you are marginalized as someone who is untrustworthy. Your conduct has made that apparent. Your default setting for any information shared with you, prayer requests or otherwise, is to keep it in confidence unless you are specifically told that it is OK to tell other people or specific people.

¹¹In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.1 Timothy 3:11 (NIV)

The Timothy passage explicitly discusses the character traits we should see in church servants. This is the example we should all follow, regardless of gender or position.

¹³A gossip betrays a confidence,but a trustworthy person keeps a secret. Proverbs 11:13 (NIV)

There are very few situations in which keeping something in confidence is not the best policy. These relate to situations where a person is harming or threatening to harm themselves or is harming or threatening to harm someone else. This is true even of good news. For instance, someone may excitedly share with you that they are pregnant, but let them have fun telling other people about it; remember our first principle that someone is sharing for their benefit, not yours.

The third principle is to understand that this is a prayer request for you to bring to the Lord in prayer, not for you to turn around and try to fix the issue that has been presented. There may be a place for that later, but at this point, we are focusing on our dependence on the Lord.

⁴Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵ Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:4–7 (NIV)